father and daughter holding hands

Family violence

In this chapter:

Family violence refers to a pattern of ongoing abusive and controlling behaviours that take many different forms. It happens within intimate relationships as well as between family members. Family violence can affect anyone, regardless of sex, age, race, sexuality, disability, gender identity or lifestyle. However, violent behaviour is most frequently used by men, as a way to exercise power and control over women and children.1

Domestic and family violence can involve behaviour that:2

  • Is violent, which can, but does not have to be physical. Violent behaviour can include:
    • physical violence
    • verbal violence
    • sexual violence
    • economic or financial violence
    • social violence
    • spiritual violence
    • psychological or emotional violence
    • legal violence (using the law or legal threats to scare or control a person)
    • neglect
    • stalking
  • Causes fear
  • Stops a person from living as they want
  • Forces them to behave in ways they don’t want to

For more information on each of these, see 1800respect: Domestic and Family violence.

Family violence can also include abuse, such as:

  • isolating a partner from friends and family
  • reproductive violence (when the person is stopped from making their own choices about their reproductive system)
  • immigration-related threats
  • forbidding the person from practicing their religion
  • digital/online abuse

Family violence is a human rights abuse and is against the law. Abuse, violence and threatening behaviour are never OK. They have damaging consequences for your partner, your children and yourself.

Check if you are using abusive or violence behaviour in your family and what you can do to prevent it at MensLine: Are you using family violence?.

If you are concerned about your behaviour, call:

MensLine Australia: 1300 78 99 78
(24 hours a day)

Men’s Referral Service: 1300 76 64 91
24 hours a day – Tasmania, New South Wales
8am-9pm Monday–Friday – all other states
9am-6pm Saturday–Sunday – all other states

Role of police

The Australian authorities expect couples to resolve family issues through non-violent means, through respectful communication, family counselling or therapy. When there is violence, the police are often the first point of contact. If a person has experienced violence or fear violence will be perpetrated upon them or their loved ones, they may seek help from the police. The police may put an interim order in place or contact Child Protection or other family violence services, as they deem necessary. The police must act according to the law when responding to family violence.

Speak up

If you know of someone who is violent towards their family or partner you should speak up and let them know it’s not OK. For tips on how to speak up see Don’t just stand by.